You and your partner seemed to have so much in common initially before you started dating. Now, a feeling of disappointment resulting from their behavior or something you later found out about them is the opposite of what they made you believe has driven a wedge between you two, making you feel more like cellmates than partners. This is undoubtedly a massive blow for you because you must have invested so much time and energy in the relationship.
Whatever phase of relationship life you’re not happy with, there are ways to overcome disappointment in relationships.
Think about what went amiss
Try to find out what went wrong and why it went wrong. Understanding why something didn’t work will save you a whole ton of disappointment in the future. Were your goals and expectations too high? Did your partner act differently than you expect? Are external factors to blame for the failing situation? After investigating the disruptive factor, you may be able to turn it off now or in the future. The main purpose of investigating what went wrong should be to find facts that can improve actions, not to find fault.
Keep your cool
Although most of the time, these are emotionally filled situations, you shouldn’t make hasty judgments or conclusions. Many mistakes happen unintentionally. Sometimes, it could be that we have set the bar too high for our loved ones. That is why it is worth questioning the real intentions of the other party.
Talk about what went wrong.
Sincere communication is essential in any healthy relationship. If you are disappointed in your partner and cannot deal with this on your own, it will be best to talk about it. It is better than retreating into the snail shell or loudly expressing your displeasure. You can use the opportunity to open up and express your feelings.
Talking about your disappointment will help you guys to find solutions together. Find out why they are behaving in this way so that you can understand their reaction and prevent further misunderstandings. Communicate in a calm tone, even if it is difficult. See things from each other’s viewpoint. This will give you new perspectives on supposedly known facts.
Determine what is important to you
After knowing what causes your current frustration, discern what is really important to you in the relationship and life. Finding the answer to how important a particular person or relationship is in your life will help you come to terms with the disappointment. Give whatever is more important to you more priority and ensure that whatever you chose is not something that will weigh you down.
You have to know what you want and take responsibility for it. You decide to be in a relationship voluntarily, and so, you can end the relationship at any time. The most important person in your life is always you. Never forget that!
Be ready to walk away.
If your partner is continually letting you down, remember that there’s always the option to let go. But before you make that decision, try your best to improve the situation and see if it’s possible to make a turnaround. If the other person refuses to come to terms with you, then it’s better to walk away. This way, you won’t feel you’re at fault, or you have not done enough. When you leave, do not hold on to the hope that things will change. Open yourself to new possibilities. As long as you do this, you will have no reason to feel bad because you will have done all you can, and you can be proud of yourself.
Learn to love yourself.
Take proper care of yourself and go for what you long for. Only you know what you truly need. Build your self-confidence and erase any doubts you have about yourself. The more confident you get, the more you wake up and live an exciting, self-determined life. When you feel uncertain or alone, look into the mirror and remind yourself that you can do it.
Your emotional state should matter more to you than what people expect of you. Remember, you cannot control other people. You can take control of what you want. And the goal is to be happy. That should be your utmost priority.
Take your time
A serious disappointment has to be dealt with before any other thing. Give yourself the time you need, and do not rush it – one step at a time. In no case should your partner pressure you if he or she thinks everything is fine. You alone determine the time for the next step and whether you can trust them again at all. In each situation, choose the action that allows you to live most in harmony with yourself, within the limits of your capabilities.
Dealing with disappointments is no easy task. But if you work through the steps described above, you will be able to get your head out of the water. You will finally begin to live outside of these negative feelings, focusing on your desires instead of getting stuck on the outcome. You have your goals, and your desires are the compass that gives you the direction to follow to achieve them.
When you start to take action, you will find that you can live free from your expectations, from the results. You will be able to channel your desires to build that ideal life that looks like you.
You must first realize that no one is immune from disappointment in a relationship. Love is a feeling and probably the highest thing you can have, so on the contrary, it can also be the most painful. However, you will never be thrilled if you always try to be on the safe side and want to be in control. You have to learn to deal with this uncertainty and keep it as low as possible by continuing to work on yourself and your relationship.