For most people, love is an important part of life. And one thing I find very interesting is that people often expose a very different aspect from their daily lives in love. For example, many cheerful and beautiful women are actually single. A quiet and good-tempered gentleman is very irritable in relationships. But this is nothing new. After all, everyone’s understanding of “love” is different and everyone has their own way to love. However, there are some perceptions about love or intimate relationship that are universally applicable, and people with these generally have better experiences in love. Knowing these will make you an undoubtedly better partner.
Tip 1: Most people are immature in relationships
Regardless of men and women, if you want an absolutely mature partner, then you should find someone who has a wealth of love experience, is emotionally stable, and knows how to get along.
If you find a young person and expect him to be as mature and stable as someone in his thirties, you are just being unrealistic.
As long as two people can communicate smoothly and have the willingness to change and accommodate, then this relationship can still be worth investing in.
What you should be wary of is not “why is he so naive”, but “why is he still so naive after so many years”; What you should be worried about is not “why he keeps ignoring our problem”, but “why did he just not take the initiative to solve the problem after all this time”. What you should mind is not “Why doesn’t he understand me”, but “Why he still doesn’t understand me.” Normal people have all kinds of small problems in their relationships, and the same goes for you.
It is never a YOU problem but a US problem. Just learn and be mature together in relationships.
Tip 2: Giving up your future for the so-called “love” is the most stupid thing
At the age of 18, you wanted to go to university in New York. He said that he could not pass the exam and get admitted so he suggested you two find a college to go to together, whether it was a university in a big city or not.
You agreed, and you broke up in your freshman year. You did not go to New York and didn’t get him.
At the age of 22, you wanted to go to another place for your master’s degree, where you could have more and better job options after graduation. He said he could not do a long-distance relationship.
You compromised, and you two separated in the next year. You gave up your chance for a better life and did not gain love either.
At the age of 25, you wanted to give it a shot to work in your favorite industry. He said that if you wanted to get married to him eventually, he hoped you could be stable and think about your future family with him.
You agreed in the end and thought you made a choice except you didn’t get married. You didn’t
get into the industry you liked, and you didn’t manage to keep him. Don’t give up your dreams and goals for anyone.
He doesn’t like you to watch dramas and novels to chase stars. He doesn’t like you to study beauty and wear or study in the field of interest, which is normal. It is normal that he doesn’t like any of your hobbies. But he thinks you have something wrong and wants you to live according to his will, that is not normal.
As long as your hobbies are reasonable, legal, and don’t make you overspend, and don’t make you waste your career, you are not wrong. The wrong person is the person who thinks you have a problem.
In the relationship, any attempt to interfere with the other’s hobbies, dreams, goals, etc. is wrong. Any attempt to reform the other’s behavior according to one’s own likes and dislikes is also wrong. It’s the same for you. He likes to play games, you just don’t like him to play games, even if he just entertains for half an hour every day, you look upset. Then you should switch to a boyfriend who doesn’t play games at all, instead of forcing him to quit games completely.
This post was written by Rey Liang of Joy house, ignite your pleasure.